Body changes in adolescents can be an uncomfortable topic to discuss with your children. This is especially difficult when your teenager is going through puberty and you know that they are self conscious about their bodies. You realize that they are noticing the changes, but they are not sure what to say. It can leave parents in an uncomfortable position because you want your child to understand that this is a normal transition, but what do you say to them? How do you approach them without making them feel badly? How do you make them realize that this is supposed to be happening? And what is an appropriate setting to talk to your children in?

First off, please realize that you are not alone. There are ways to accomplish this that are very simple. The best way to handle this situation is to look for a teachable moment to talk to your child. A teachable moment is a time when you can offer support, guidance and help to your child when they are most receptive. A good way to approach your child is when you and he/she are alert, ready to talk and have a good amount of time to share. Tell your child that you would like to talk to them when they have a free moment. An effective way to let them know that you want to talk to them is saying, “I would like to talk to you about something when you have some time.” Make sure that you approach them in a non-confrontational tone and let them know they are not in trouble.

Next, have this discussion in your own home where nobody else can hear the conversation. If need be, practice first in private, so you feel comfortable with your approach. Tell your child that you are there for them if they feel the need to talk to you about any changes that their body is going through. You can let your child know that you are noticing some changes with their body and how they are growing up. Make them feel at ease and tell them you went through this as well. You can tell them about an experience that you remember going through when you were their age. Show support and encouragement and try to make them to feel good about themselves. You’ll find that your child will respond well to you and it may even bring you two closer in your relationship. The intent is to make your child feel comfortable with talking to you about this and other types of situations.

Here are some topics to consider talking about with your child. You don’t have to touch on all of them, but choose a few that you feel is important. You may also ask your child if they would like to talk about any of the following topics.

Girls ` Boys
Menstrual cycles Voice changing
Breast and hip development Facial hair
Body hair Body hair
Shaving Night Ejaculations (Wet Dreams)

Lastly, remember, this may be a difficult and grueling process, but after the discussion you will feel relieved. Let your child know that it is okay for them to talk to you again about this issue or whatever else is on their mind. Stress to them that you are there for them no matter what. Rachel Leibovitz is a therapist who works with children and adolescents and is available to help guide you through this and other issues. For more information or a free consultation,
call 248-430-4224.

Is there ever a time when you just wish your child would stop crying and whining? Do you ever just wish that your child could get along with other kids and their siblings? Or do you ever imagine your child having friends and being invited out for a play date? There is still hope and time for this to evolve.

A very important component of a child’s development is their play and social skills. It sounds easy enough for a child to learn this by themselves. It also sounds simple for a child to understand how to play and interact with other kids appropriately, but it is truly not. If it was that simple of a process, why would kids need to be fight, cry and tattle tail on one another? Kids argue, tattle tail and fight in all types of settings, which include: home, school and public settings. It can be embarrassing and draining.
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The following are some suggestions by Rachel Leibovitz, clinical child psychologist, to assist you in teaching your child some basic play and social skills.

1. Teach your child that it is important to share toys and other things with other people. You can explain to your child what it means to share. A helpful tool is to read them a book relating to this topic. This way the child can visually see an example of what it looks like to share.

2. Role play with your child. What this means is to practice sharing something with your child. Have them hold a toy in their hand and ask them if you could use it after they are done. You can tell your child that they can say, “Yes, you can play with it in five minutes after I finish.” Teach your child to acknowledge and respond to people in a nice tone.

3. Have your child invite a friend over and watch the children play or take your child to a local park where there will other children your child’s age. You want to give them space, but keep an eye on them. Look for a teachable moment to help your child with their social skills. A teachable moment is when you see something that would be a good time to help your child understand the concept that you are trying to convey. If you see any signs of a social issue, quietly explain to your child what it is that you are noticing. You may also choose to talk to them about it later in a quiet setting.

4. Encourage your child to make eye contact with the people they are talking to. You can teach them how to greet people appropriately. Again, you can do role plays with them. You can even use dolls or stuffed animals to demonstrate this. Use the object to demonstrate a good model, so the children can implement this in real life situations. Ask questions and discuss.

5. Let your child know that if they can’t be nice or get along with others, there will be a consequence. Follow through! If you tell your child that you are taking away something for the night because of their behavior, do it! Don’t let your child talk you out of it.

These are just some general ideas for you to try with your child. There are so many more effective tools and techniques in teaching your child effective play/social skills. Rachel Leibovitz, of Coaching and Counseling Services for Women and Children works in these areas with the children and the parents. For more information or a free consultation, call 248-430-4224.

Is there ever a time when you wish that your teen could just get along with other children and make friends easily? Do you ever just wish that teachers at school had positive things to say about your teen during parent teacher conference? Or do you ever imagine your child having friends and being invited out to social events or included in social groups? There is still hope and time for this to evolve.

Being a teenager is sometimes not easy or fun. Some kids are accepted by others and make friends easily, while some are just not well liked. I am sure if you are a parent of a kid who has trouble making friends, it can be bothersome to you. It can affect a teen’s self-esteem, confidence and who they are all around.
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The following are some suggestions and steps to take to assist you in talking to your teen about healthy social skills.

1. Talk to your teen about having a good attitude with other peers. Talk to them about treating people with respect and being a loyal friend. Maybe teach them what a loyal friend means. You can say, “A loyal friend is _____.

2. Teach them the importance of good values. Talk to them and discuss what your definition of these may be. Open the discussion up and ask what they think good values are and why we should have them.

3. Encourage your teen to talk to you openly when they are feeling down or just not worthy. If you think seeing a therapist would be best, then maybe you can talk to them about that.

4. Offer your teen empathy and compassion to the situation that they may bring to your attention. Validate them and let them know you want to listen and help during challenging times they may be faced with.

5-You can share stories and memories from your childhood. You can share with them what it was like when were growing up. Be their friend, but also be their parent.

5. If you are concerned about your teenager’s choice of friends, talk to them openly. Express to them how you feel and discuss the reasons why you feel the way you do. Hopefully, they will listen and understand your point of view. Let them know you feel the way you do out of love. Also talk to them and tell them you want them to make good choices about friends and why. Make sure they understand that they should make friends with people who will have positive influences on them.

6. Make sure your teen realizes that feeling lonely, confused or insecure is normally at this age. You may help your teen understand these feelings by spending some quality one on one time with your child. Let them see that you are a supportive, loving and caring parent. This may help your teen feel more secure and comfortable in their skin, especially knowing that they have your support.

These are just some general ideas for you to try with your teen that will promote some healthy socials skill development .There are so many more effective tools and techniques in talking to your teenager. Rachel Leibovitz is a therapist that works in these areas with the children and the parents. Call 248-430-4224 for a free consultation.